Monday, 28 November 2011

Dear Leader? Try Delirious Leader.

I haven't posted in a while due to life getting a bit busy. However, I wish to say a few things concerning the major world problems. Greece should not default, the chain reaction would be cataclysmic. Italy is actually not that bad despite facing unsustainable 7% bond yields, while Spain is actually in worse shape. New alliances by the Americans and Canadians in Asia are good for diversification of their export/import portfolio. China's internal banking crisis will come to light in 2012, as my world predictions for 2012 will come out soon enough.

Enough of that, I decided to post a letter from Kim Il Sung (he's dead - probably had a ghost writer - pun intended) , written for the Economist in the World in 2012 edition. If you have a chance, pick up the magazine, it's a great read. This letter describes the insanity that this nation is governed by, and truly shows how scary it would be should this nation acquire a nuclear bomb.

One hundred years after my birth, I, Kim Il Sung, founding deity of North Korea, will descend from heaven. 


That is only one prediction that can be made with cast - iron certainty about what I proudly proclaim is the world's most unpredictable country. On the 100th anniversary of my birth, April 15th 2012, the whole world will hear nothing but lies about the peace-loving people of North Korea. 


Your organs of capitalist propaganda will mock the goosesteps, the Nazi - like choreography, and the sickly flowers., Kimilsungia, named in my honour. They will never mention what a pure-hearted people my beloved children are. As their hollow bellies attest, they have fasted in mourning almost incessantly since my passing away in 1994 - with hardly a whisper of complaint. They bend their broken backs out of love for my dear son, Kim Jon Il, so that he no longer needs to wear platform shoes to see over their heads. They rejoice as he erects monument after monument to my memory, instead of wasting it on the fripperies of food. On my 70th birthday they built an Arch of Triumph, bigger than the French one, with a brick for everyday day of my life. In 2012 they will finish the 100 foot Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang in honour of me. Who cares if none of them can afford to stay there: empty, it will make a lovely missile sole to impress the neighbours. 


Next year will be , as my dear son has promised, the year when North Korea becomes a strong and prosperous nation. Strong, of course, we already are. We have outlived Soviet Russia, Mao Zedong in China, and deadly departed comrades such as Nicolae Ceausecu of Romania. Superpowers continue to bow to our whims, promising aid and investment even when we threaten to nuke our beloved South Korean brethren to hell and back. Prosperity may take a little longer, it is not for nothing that people, looking at our tragically torn peninsula, talk about "One country, two planets". But if our army is strong enough to have a million guns, who needs butter? 


The only thing that troubles me, as I gaze down from my mushroom cloud on Mount Paektu, is ensuring my legacy lives on. Not everyone can come up with an ideology based on self - delusion, Chisten it with Juche, and tell people that it's about self-reliance - self-reliance, that is,  on all those capitalist dogs we hoodwink for aid. Not everyone would could fashion a brand of ethno fascist, neo -Stalinist, theocratic, murderous totalitarianism and yet portry himself as a father molly - coddling his devoted children. 


My son, sadly, has not managed to step into my shoes. He prefers spending time with ostriches, his fashion sense is other-worldly, and with his taste for lobster and red wine it is no wonder gout is killing him. So, in good theocratic tradition, 2012 calls for some divine intervention. I will therefore descend from heaven, and be reborn in the shape of my pudgy grandson - Kim Jong Un. 


You don't believe me? It is not for nothing that your newspaper has already christened him the Chosun Un. 




Satire at it`s finest.


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Mohamed Ali said...


اهم شركات نقل العفش والاثاث بالدمام والخبر والجبيل اولقطيف والاحساء والرياض وجدة ومكة المدينة المنورة والخرج والطائف وخميس مشيط وبجدة افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة نعرضها مجموعة الفا لنقل العفش بمكة والخرج والقصيم والطائف وتبوك وخميس مشيط ونجران وجيزان وبريدة والمدينة المنورة وينبع افضل شركات نقل الاثاث بالجبيل والطائف وخميس مشيط وبريدة وعنيزو وابها ونجران المدينة وينبع تبوك والقصيم الخرج حفر الباطن والظهران
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Mohamed Ali said...

شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
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Mohamed Ali said...


شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام التفاؤل شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر كما انها افضل شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل نقل عفش واثاث بالجبيل والخبر والقطيف والدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
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